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It can, in fact, hurt to ask. What a nightmare.

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Never would have expected this to happen but the people we bought a house from just 3.5 weeks ago asked today if we would let them buy it back. It was a hard pass, but I couldn’t even wrap my head around them actually asking us that question at this point.

Between agent fees, inspections, appraisals, insurance and escrow payments and everything else, that sale had $25,000 in costs. There’s already interest paid and accruing on that loan. The lender has already resold the loan to a new company to clear it off their books for the next deal. There would be penalties associated with selling it again this fast. They’d probably lose $30,000 just getting us out of it and making us whole, but we wouldn’t agree to that. They’d have to pay us an extra $25,000-50,000 to convince us to do it to compensate us for all the stress and aggravation and all the houses we could have gone for but missed out on because of this or the fact that interest rates are going back up and every 0.5% that interest goes up can cost $30,000-35,000 over the life of the loan. But I also don’t think they could even afford to give us enough to make it worth it for us to sell the house back - So I told our agent it is just a hard no.

Interestingly, our agent heard about this yesterday, because the wife insisted that their agent ask, and our agent didn’t even want to tell us about it. She said it would be “opening Pandora’s box” and it was a mistake to even ask. She only told us about it today because apparently the wife was pestering their agent wondering if the offer / question had really gone to us and we reached out to our agent today, because it’s been 3.5 weeks and we haven’t heard a peep on their progress and we wanted to know what kind of notice we could expect from them if they were leaving early so we could give timely notice to our landlady and not have a long period paying for 2 places. That sentence was a mouthful….

As we knew when we were looking, as they are finding out, this market is a nightmare, and they’re (at least the wife is) in panic mode trying to find something that they like that they can afford and they keep getting outbid and now they’re trying to get the house back and have us go back to having to deal with this market instead of them and we’re not letting them off for just making us whole.

On top of everything else we already ordered appliances for that house that are supposed to be delivered on August 2nd! We ordered a specific washer and dryer that’s basically the same as theirs because they put in a custom shelf in the utility room that is a quarter of an inch too low for LG washers and dryers so you have to go with front-loading Samsung appliances - or rip that blasted shelf out and repaint the whole room!

So, now, instead, we are gaming how we’ll deal with it if they try to stay past the end of the leaseback.

I remember when we were negotiating the purchase and they tried to get us to agree to a silly-low rental rate for the leaseback, and their agent was insisting that she was going to be able to get them to close by June 10. I was just looking at my wife like, “No way. Not in this market. I don’t believe it.” To make matters worse the husband is super picky about what they want, and I do not think they can afford to buy a house much more expensive than what they had - but the area they wanted to move to is more expensive than the one they’re leaving.

I had really thought the stressful part of this was over and we just had to endure waiting for them to find something and leave. Now, I don’t think I’ll relax again until we move and have keys and they’re out. Going into this they seemed like stand-up people that would keep their word and we wouldn’t have a problem. They may still be those people and honor the deal, but I’m far less confident of that now.

What a nightmare! The Friday before Father’s day, to have this dread dropped on us…

And Ben is puking, because he got a stomach bug, after we’ve all had colds all week… because that’s just how life goes… Sam was running 101.2 on Wednesday and now Ben is Spiking 100+ today.

I really hate this, because I have a tendency to want to engage in “retail therapy” and buy things - especially collectables - when I’m stressed, and I really keep telling myself to save and not spend money right now and I’m trying to get my eating and my diet under control so I will stop gaining some weight I’ve put on recently and I’m super stressed and I want to eat everything, and buy things I shouldn’t buy and make bad decisions right now…


Edited to add: so the thing that is the icing on the cake of this day is that we may soon lose Shandy's income for 1.5 months because of regulatory changes in China. But... her income is only about 8-10% of our monthly net. So, if it happens, it will stink, but it's survivable.

All of this is survivable. We'll get through all of this and in the grand scheme and long run of our lives it'll probably amount to very little.

We were honestly in much worse shape in late 2017 when I'd been out of work for a year and in 2019 when Sam was born. In this moment we are probably in the strongest, best position we've been in in the nearly 6 years of our marriage.

But, in this moment, it sucks and I hate it!


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Take a few deep breaths, and count to 10.  That probably won't make anything better, but it probably won't hurt either.  I hope everything works out for you and yours.

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